Oh dear maiden
My dear witch
Why do you affect me so?

Even when I pull away
and become ever so strong again in my mind
the moment I come back,
my wall crumbles into dust that fills my room
A corrupted dust that I inhale every second I spend in my room

The dust lingers in me all the while.
Reminds me of the tragic loss I had incurred.
The embarrasment and shame.
The pain of loss.
The torture of being stretched apart.

It's not you,
But it is you,
A ghost.
A spectre.
A paroxysmal haunting.

Somehow it never leaves,
Even as life goes by.
It just settles in the depths.
Waiting for another current to pull in
to lift the dust up around me again.

Someday I'll die of a heart attack.
The dust would be so thick then.
My blood would be so dark, near black.
It'll be just like a poison in my veins.
A dark concoction stealing my life away.

It'll cut off the oxygen to my heart
It'll cut off the life to my body
And all that'll be left
A lifeless lump of decaying matter
A carcass full of worms and death

Oblivion seems like such a paradise.

tfaduh.