Im horribly insecure these days...

It's not gonna be good for Jac. I'm very sure of it.

I'm sorry dear... I can't help myself... I need to be stronger...

I'm lacking in something... some wisdom that I have not found yet...

And I'm looking.. and looking...

I hate to do this to you...

But I can't help it. It feels too strongly...

I'm sorry for the insecure e-mails...

I hope you'll be better.

I need to be stronger and more stable... I'm not close... but can I say that I have improved quite a bit? Yes... but not enough...

Terrible.. why do I improve so slowly? Why am I so pathetically retarded and stupid when it comes to this?

Sigh.

Why can't I seem to be able to run away from this? Why does it keep coming back to haunt me? Why can't I just go on and move on and become better?

Im crazily insecure and anxious at the moment. Hwahaha. I could explode into insanity I swear. So sad that it wouldn't last.

So sad that I'll wake up in the morning fine. I don't want to sometimes. Rather be crazy and forget everything.

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I know this is all stupid talk. But I can't help myself...

SengChye in a bout of mental and emotional instability, I hope it doesn't meltdown...