I'm feeling thouroughly regretful tonight.

Not depressed, but sad.

Sad that I have drifted far off course. Just like I have done so many times before.

Reflection... I haven't done that for such a long while...

I haven't meditated for such a while...

I haven't been a good president either... my cause slowly wilting away and blowing away with the wind...

I'm so tired. I feel so weak and worthless and helpless.

Each day gets worse as I struggle through it's various activities.

I can't think properly. I'm so ashamed that I can't think, I can't handle things. Because of this lack of thought that I once swore never to fall into, I have actually hurt people and myself...

I feel so bad about this.

I'm losing it. Perhaps it's true. I'm biting more than I can chew. It's okay to participate in events and activities, but I have to know that I have other priorities too and that if I expend myself completely, I will not be able to cope with anything anymore. More problems would surface and my world would collapse around me.

After my performances and my exams, I'll start to kick off the training and grouping. I'll kick off setting up performances for groups. I have to start managing again. My mind is too much into the performances that I cannot manage things properly.

After my performance I will get down to working extra hard on my exams. I have to. I don't have much time left.

Sigh. I'm sorry. I'm sorry everyone. I'm sorry myself. I'm sorry for letting all of you down. I feel so bad.

tfaduh.