She doesn't understand what I meant in my last post...

It was 1 : 1, a draw. He won a battle.

I won over him late at night and decided that it wasn't my decision to make and then I saw him and chased him off.

2 : 1. I'm in the lead.

The way doubt works is that he seeps gently and unassumingly into you and manipulates the way you think and feel so that you even think that it isn't him. When you see him, he has usually clouded much of your senses and it's no longer easy to fight.

Watch for the leaks! I always say. But it's harder than that.

Yet, it has become 2 : 2, a draw. With a major disadisadvantage to me...

the doubt has come to influence her as well.

I hope she will win.

This is such a strong advantage doubt has over me...


A perfect match. She should just go for it. It keeps telling me.

You, Sengchye, fiend, shouldn't be in the way of things. It's obviously fated. You have done your job. Now it is time for you to leave. This keeps popping in my head.


I fight...

I fight...

with nothing but blind faith and lots of hope.

"Maybe it wouldn't be that one she's looking for"

"She actually does love me and wouldn't do such a thing"


I hope and I hope and I hope and I hope and I hope

and refuse bad thoughts.

It's such turmoil. It's hard to imagine.

But I love her and that keeps me going.


tfaduh.